Stochastic Cerebrations

Ideally, I should not be doing this but then I love to exploit the fundamental right of freedom of speech and expression. Right now, my mind is in 4 states - To write, Not to write, Study and Sleep apart from Delhi, UP, Rajasthan and Maharashtra. Considering the fact that end term examinations are going on , I should be residing in the state of study but  I am pretty sure that as soon as I get the citizenship of the State of study, I'd be pulled back by the State of sleep. Hence, I've decided to cancel these two states from the list of options. So, now I am left with two states(No Chetan Bhagat please!) - To write or not to write. But, there is this certain thought which is wobbling in my mind for quite sometime now and hence I've decided to pen it down. All the political states mentioned above have one thing in common and i.e. Winters, though the intensity of chill keeps on varying but still the it exists, enough to make you shiver. This is that time of the year whe...

Instead of 'in a pickle' the phrase should have been 'in a jam', I argued with my friend. Staying in the NCR for like around 23 years now, Jams are a part of my life. Be it the Pineapple jam or traffic jam. But, a traffic jam is the last place I'd want to be on any day. You'll call the day unlucky if it rained when you are going for an interview, but that's before you find yourself stuck in a fantasy land of honking babies, farting away petrol and diesel with red hot grown ups(hopefully) behind the wheel. Jams are probably the reason Delhi has so many roadside shops selling eatables, decorative items, medicines etc. Soon a day will dawn upon us, when people will buy a vehicle while stuck in a jam! Interestingly, none of the food joints on the road side have Jam Bread on their menu, in spite of the fact that one of the ingredients is available in abundance and that too for free. What a business idea sirjee! From naming a jam as peak hour(Ohh dear Evere...

One cannot think of separting - pot holes, accidents, traffic, pollution from the Indian roads. Now, the latest addition is humor! As they say all serious situations are the fore-fathers of humor. We all complaint that our work is the toughest but then just think of this - You have a burden of 60 Tonnes on your back and you've been travelling on Indian highways for the past 20 hours. Tough right? Its the toughest - 20hours on Indian roads - are you kidding me? One channel which is always in use to express the creativity and is that of the back of the truck. Many a times, their creativity is way better than that of some ad director. Being creative in the tough circumstances, frequently brings a much needed reason to smile and laugh especially for the zillions of commuters who share the same road every day. Listing down few of the one liners which I remember just for the sake of your smile. Buri Nazar Waale Tera Muh Kaala. Horn Ok Please Ok Tata Bye Bye Badha ho kar main bhi ...

Sequel to the 'ma' saga- "Yesterday mah sister slapped moi, how kewl is that?" Ohh yes! it's very cool so much so that it can be used as a refrigerant! It has been a common observation that minds of these superstars of India aren't developing in spite of the fact that ours is a developing nation. Until recently, I never used to pay heed to the insensitive and crude attitude of people towards English especially on the social networking sites leave apart blogs and instant messengers. The way these people show their culinary skills towards each word of the language makes me wonder do we really have so many Master chef contests going on? Surprisingly, these are the people who notices the goof up of 'here' and 'hear'; 'dear' and 'deer'; 'week' and 'weak'; not to  forget 'lose' and 'loose'. Laudable efforts I must say, They now have their own dictionary and ironically they pretend to have a good diction...

Who says you need to have a proper rhythm for a song. Came across this hilarious song "Big Bamboo" . Just in case you are thinking it has something to do with Reliance, then sorry to disappoint you they have nothing in common apart from the fact that both are funny in their own way. Is it a song? or was he narrating a story with some background score?

So it happened! The blue Antitank mine has finally met its grave. After 6 years of painful solitary trauma it will now rest in peace. Few years ago, the symptoms shown by it were enough for me to conclude that its end was near. It was inevitable that it will finally get an appointment with Doctor Doom. They say the year 2012 will be last year for mankind and for this blue beauty it actually proved to be true. It was the big blue eyed star of its category when it came into existence.Just like the bose boson, it created a huge hype and it actually had the capability to carry the burden. Few months into its existence, It barely scraped through the cut throat competition, thanks to Murphy and his laws {inlaws maybe}. As they say, as age increases, brain power decreases but as a loyal fellow, always came through in the end,woohoo! It was summer of 2006, when it first showed the signs of old age. It got multiple fractures in both hands, literally, few year after its thralldom.  But this old ...

Sometime back I happened to be a part of an online conversation in which I was just a spectator. People begin preparing for GRE/GMAT/TOEFL by memorizing Barron's word list but they completely ignore the building blocks of any language - Grammar. Anyways, here is the chat log which I happen to remember. The first three sentences below are a work of fiction. TJ: Hey TS! Glad to see you! Where are you these days? TS: Hey TJ Same here. I'm in a hurry, catch you on G+ TJ: Sure! See you. After a couple of months, TJ: Hey TS! Glad to see you on G+ finally! So, Where are you these days? TS: I am feeling very amiable, thanking you. I am no longer live in Tokyo, shifted to Egypt quiet a long time ago. TJ: Long time no ocean then?? :P TS: What? What do you mean?huhhh TJ: Umm..dude! Never mind..KOB nothing! TS: That was an execrable gag. No wonder it leads to arguments between us. You are deviant and everybody execrates you! TJ: WTF! Dude! are you consuming a weed named dictionary? Just sa...

Harangue, well that is what this post will sound like. Unlike my other posts which may seem like some literary gems<yeah?> this one is completely off the track. So, if you are expecting the same old genre, well then sorry to disappoint you are looking at the wrong place..haha!! This post is about the eternal dedication to Ma ! Mother..Mom..amma..aai..whatever you use she remains the same. But there's a difference between Ma and Maa! The latter refers to the above synonyms but the former umm well a commonly used word in the dictionary of hip hop internet. But believe me, saying ma  in no way sounds cooler. Neither it makes you sound hip but it will definitely make you a good candidate of my hip hop kick. It's about those blessed morons which use 'ma' instead of my for a variety of reasons which beats a hell out of me! That's ma new mom , That's ma house, This is ma post! , That's ma friend, That's ma girlfriend etc .  Gimme(Gim ma) a break please{L...

October 30th 2011 and October 28th 2012 - both had one thing in common apart from being the Race Day for Indian Grand Prix! On both the dates, I left Noida to head back to my temporary abode, IMTN. I missed the Grand Prix action on both the dates but it was this time that I witnessed F1 in a different style. As different and as astonishing as one can think of. Most of the cars in F1 are near about the same in terms of power. It's more like the battle of equals. It's exciting to watch cars roaring in front of your eyes. But what if you witness F1 off the circuit? Battle of unequals! On the expressway which connects the two densely populated dwellings across the river(supposedly) Yamuna. Now, take this - You are on your way to the airport. On the expressway you see 3 Audi's and 2 Jaguars trying to overtake each other. In comes a surprise - A maruti 800 and it zoom pasts these sexy yet mean machines. Dumbfounded you are! And to top it up, the driver of the 800 shows the middle...

Whether good or bad - the first's in life are events which one always remembers. Be it the sight of your parents when you're popped out from your mother's womb into this world(obviously your parents remember this), the first word which you utter, you're first step on mother earth. Fast forwarding, your 1st job interview, failing miserably in it and then a you eventually grab a job in a firm which you think is the most respectable in the whole world. You get your 1st salary and without any vacillation you spend it on your parents. The expression on their face is again something which you just cannot afford to forget. So after a few more months, you finally treat yourself and buy a cell phone, the 1st huge purchase for yourself from your salary. You use it for a year and then buy another phone. In spite of knowing the fact that you won't be using the old model again, you decide to keep it as a  priced possession. Another year passes by and finally you exchange both th...

Red, Orange, Green and Black - Most noticeable and talked about colors these days. Whenever you're hooked up to the father of the networks you'll definitely end up noticing these colors. A simple mantra moving around these days - "Your Social network is your status". How can an online service, platform, or site that focuses on facilitating the building of virtual friends who share interests, activities, backgrounds, or real-life connections become the driving force of your social acceptability? When it comes to businesses, the social network takes a new form - social media. The popularity of a certain organization depends on the no. of thumbs on one platform or the no. of +1's on another platform it gets. Be it Facebook, Google Plus, Zurker or the old man Orkut or messengers like MSN/Yahoo/GTalk! No matter what you use, at any point in time you'll have these colors flashing on your screen. These platforms have tapped in your innate want to be connect...

I read somewhere that on an average a software engineer works on and above 3rd floor. Life of a SE is full of ups and downs, quite literally. He takes the elevator! Otis invented this wonderful machine which does all the up and down movements for you on the push of a single button. Elevators are preponderant when it comes to high rises. Just imagine the pain of climbing a 6 floors by stairs multiple times in a day.  Normally we spend 3-4 mins in an elevator but just in case you are a lift operator you might be spending the complete 8 hours shift inside the moving cuboid. But since you are reading this blog am sure you're not a lift operator. Lifts are a problem for those who travel more than 10-15 floors and those with extremely slow elevators, well you might be spending 5-8 mins inside the lift. As a token of kindness and sympathy I forgive you and this post caters to your interests.Hence, Read On! The various species which you might find in an elevator are: Name: Driver a.k.a Ope...

Stupid, Idiot defines this group of morons, really?yeah! They're just hipsters camouflaging everywhere. Whenever an eco-warrior or the so called "environment lovers/seducers/suckers" meet takes place, they all sit together and plan to make life more miserable for the common man. Without the slightest knowledge of science/technology they start opposing any good initiative.Making everyone's lives as close to hell as possible, hugging, giggling and shouting is what they do in those "meets". Who knows what they do behind the scenes, ass grabbing..ehh? On one side they call themselves environmental friendly and they supposedly do all those things which are good for mother Earth but what about those zillions of posters/flyers/pamphlets they stick/distribute here and there? All these promotion aides eventually find solace in dustbins or should I say India's favorite dustbin - the roads! Chopping few acres of trees, getting them printed with non biodegradable co...

Perhaps this will be the shortest post till date but I am heart broken..tears rolling down on my not so chubby but fair cheeks.. Cobie Smulders(Robin-Scherbatsky) is getting married! :( :( :( Well I just have one thing to say now - 

NOTE: I am NOT a Himesss Reshammiya fan/AC/etc. - if you inferred something from the title! So why such a huge stress on Oooooo! Blame it on sticky keys - nopes not the windows app. but the keys are actually sticking to my fingers since the time I accidentally dropped GluconD on it! What the hell..right? I call it Dafaq! How many times you type something and then without even thinking you close the app just to realize that you forgot to save the file? Or how many times your net starts behaving abnormally just when you had pressed the submit button and you are shown "Page cannot be displayed"? Couple of no. of times probably?  But can you expect a qualified Software Engg. to do the same blunders?  Why not? After all he too is a human being(umm..yeah). Atleast, I cannot! So what did I do? I wrote a entry..pressed the "publish" button and realized that due a recent power cut the network went down. So what's the big deal, wordpress maintains an auto saved draft ver...

You enter a room in a jolly mood and you come out in a folly way. Then you enter another room, hit the bed and doze off! The alarm goes off with Chester Bennington screaming on top of his voice - "I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away" but still you love it. Soon you realize that your body was resting not only on the bed but on one of your arms. The same arm which had been the target of the folly the previous night.  You somehow manage to take it out and then what do you see? An arm resembling a bottlegourd which is hard to move. With the other hand you somehow lift it and just to find it shivering for no reason at all. Now what? Eureka!  It reminds you of how stupid you were couple of years back, performing some sort of stunt(to impress no one!) which left the same arm in a rupture state. You get up and start massaging it with the pain growing unbearable. You apply a spray..keep on massaging and then visit the good for nothing doctor! The doctor after a thorou...

People do all sorts of thing when they fall in love but they do all the more maniacal things when they break up! Mr. Büyükkökten and Mr. Zuckerberg for example! From defining what a social network is over the web to what a social network can do.. From tasting a virtual donut! to a site down message..social networking taught many new things..and one of them was "About Me" section of Orkut! The one section which in a way was testing your creativity of writing god knows what! I was just going through one of the zillions file stored on my box..and happen to stumble upon my Orkut "about me", which I had written when I was half inebriated by sleep! It goes like: Word of caution - You are Entering to an abstract zone, kindly shut down your wisdom-ridden-senses, or else STOP RIGHT HERE! My Brain Has 2 Parts, Right And Left The RIGHT One Has Nothing LEFT In It And The LEFT One Has Nothing RIGHT in it... Alienated by the psychic ambience..deserted by the sane element, I carry...

It is your pulse, your heartbeat. Its your energy, expression of life and expression in time and movement. It sets the rhythm. It about fun, letting your body loose and forgetting as if the world exists! DANCE! Do what you love to do and love what you do! Programming! Yes! That is the music my fingers like.. programming for hours and hours without a single second of feeling that I am tired! The 2nd year of grads and my fingers fell in love with .NET so much so that I ended up learning most of the .NET platform using the network of networks! Altercation with profs were the need of hour for me to let my love flourish. Learning new languages, coding and crashing the system(literally) defined me. The final year of grads..this love helped in publishing a research paper in an international journal. These days I hardly code, but when I do (Finaholics).. I go insane! The craziness which got buried emerges just like the phoenix rising from the ashes. Each and every time my system crashed, I had...

P.S.: I am not referring to the short movie " On the other side " It always looks better. The other side, the grass on the other side. Not just the grass, also the food on the neighbor's plate, your friend's car, your boss's secretary, your friends job and the list can go on and on! Till yesterday evening, I used to believe "The grass is always greener on the other side" ..but what followed after dinner completely changed my perspective. "The grass is always greener and harder on the other side". We all take so much for granted. It is always difficult to be content with your current    situation, to be able to resist the temptation of what others have requires a hell lot of dimaagi santulan ! It's not only the two legged species who have this issue, it happens with canines. Feed one..feed another..you'll find the 1st canine leaving his share and attacking the 2nd one's share first! Just to be able to get a bite of that interdicted f...

Its not that I don't have anything else to post..its just that I love this LWD mail :P just like I still Love CIQ! Alright, I don't know where to begin, but here it is, Madhur is all set to leave the realms of IT life (hopefully) and set foot in the next phase of his life. Never the less, the memories made here will be cherished till I perish (poet in making?) Well, Today is my last day at Capital IQ. Just stepping up to add few more credentials on my resume, time to be a student and experience the college life again, for me to pursue my much awaited MBA. It's been a short journey of almost a year. From having a stable functionality release to "Aarggh!! Damn how did I miss this bug!!”. I have enjoyed working here a lot. Vikrant, Rajiv, Girish- I thank you for your constant support and encouragement whether it's related to the QA work, mails or developing the performance monitoring tool [I hope you find it useful]. Screening Dev- Ian, Aaron you guys are amazing whet...