Traffic signals!

This is not the first time that I saw a traffic signal,but there was something peculiar about this series of signals in Bandra(W). Not only there were 6 signals within a distance of 1km, interestingly all were of different colors at any given point in time. Sitting in a cab, with blaring horns all around I decided to put my earbuds to good use and started observing the various activities happening on the road to hell.

The cab driver, an impatient one, kept on pressing the gas pedal without realizing the neutral gear. The light turned green and I was sure that it'll be my first drag race experience while sitting in a cab but to my disappointment the super attentive female driver of the front car was busy day dreaming. Suddenly, her common sense kicked in, the car moved and I exclaimed - "jal gayi batti madam ki"!

As the cab moved, I noticed a cute baby in the adjacent car, as a friendly gesture I waved my hand. But the looks which the mother gave were enough to convey that the vulture has found its prey. Instantly, I stopped waving and said to myself "Meine kya kia..sanki aurat" . As if the female wasn't enough, the guy in car too gave an angry look full of vengeance. I somehow managed to look away.

Stuck between two signals at the same crossing, a two wheeler chap, in his 30's came from left and started abusing the driver. The pillion was a senior citizen, sitting in the most awkward position for a person of his age - instead of the front, he was facing backwards. The very moment I heard, "shiela ki jawani" being played in the car and I couldn't resist myself in saying "Daddu ki jawani". Half of his body was dangling almost off the seat. No idea why I felt uncomfortable that I adjusted my posture!

Aahh two signals down! Yaaee! At the third one, the cab driver decided to power down the engine. Okay, so he knows about global warming and stuff, I'm impressed! At last, the heated engine got some rest. The light turned green and the beloved Premier Padmini simply refused to start. Okay, now that is embarrassing. All those cars which you managed to overtake are screaming on top your their voices - "Ab toh chal..bada hero ban raha tha pehle". The cab driver, an old man, with careless hands fumble with the key, only to let it fall on the floor. After a lot of "taam jhaam", the vintage car started -"phew.. bhau pls ab bandh mat karna gaadi" and his reply blew my mind - "humari gaadi hai..jaise bhi chalaye"

At the next signal, I came across a car, whose driver I suppose had one anthem - "po po all the way..po-ing down the lane..po-ingly po-ingly po-ingly road is meant for po" - O my holy Jesus, O my virgin Mary, BDT stop it! Somebody please tell him one thing how can one move on a red signal? I ain't living in Jetson's era! Honk, honk and more honk..he made me go bonkers. I turned around, gave him the worst possible look which I could manage, showed him the phone(An insult invented by M&M). I agree, we the Indians are patients of impatience, but for heaven's sake..it is a traffic signal..stop honking you dumbass!

At that very moment, the light went out. Chaos ensued! In comes our hero, the traffic policeman. His entry was a dramatic one. But this hero of ours did something so intelligent that even Einstein would not have done. He gave a "Go" for the traffic coming from two opposite sides. Well the rest is history - 30 mins at one freaking junction.

One unique thing which I've noticed in this city, is the presence of invisible zebra crossing. I think people over here have already accepted the Zebra's as extinct, hence they didnt find a zebra to paste the color from.In the world's second most populated country,on top of that in the most populated city of that country, how can I miss out on pedestrians.This was at the last signal where a group was waiting for the pedestrian signal to go green. The lights changed and something unexpected happened. That group didnt cross the road. Change of mind probably! It was our turn to move, but wait, the group started to cross the road - with buses, trucks, cars blaring their horns, too bad the BEST bus couldn't hit a single pin. Strike wasted! The bus driver was made to look like a fool as if it was his fault. Hats off to Ceat for making the most apt tagline - "The streets are full of idiots"

So, I cleared all the signals. The driver accelerated. But in comes a "NASCAR" driver, who maneuvers his car like a toy, cutting across all the traffic from the left most lane to the right most - without an indicator or horn and takes a U turn! What the hell did just happen? Our vintage just managed to avoid the collision..the driver shouted something, beyond my swear vocab.

I love traffic signals, after all they are funny!