Argh! Movie spoilers

Nagpur/Nagpore/Nagpoor -  winter capital of Maharashtra(yes it is not in Madhya Pradesh!), a fast growing metropolis and probably the third largest city in the state. The city got it's name from a serpentine path flowing tributary of Kanhan river. Just as amusing as the name and its history is, the city too will never let you down especially when it comes to amusement - from being a chaotic city at 7.45pm to a dead city by 8.15pm. I think, you've now got a sense of amusement less the park. But, no hard feelings Nagpur :)

Okay, so having spent almost 2 years in this amusing city, one is bound to get bored and look for sources of entertainment. The city has a few movie theatres - all big brands - Inox, PVR, Big Cinemas, Cinemax. Impressed aren't you? But to ruin the freshly baked impression consider the reality - No shows for hollywood movies in English after the 1st week of release, No caramel popcorns, you'll start believing that Queue and Q are the same and last but not the least exceptionally brilliant crowd. Thanks to online booking, the jostling at the ticket counter is a thing of past. So, the only task is to sit down for 2/3hours stare at the big screen. But, there are these blessed ones who according to the constitution of distraction have the fundamental right to disturb you while you are watching the movie. A movie theater is an exceptionally good place to categorize such asses. Movies like Dabang, Aag, Amazing spiderman etc. gives you ample amount of time to observe them.  

One Man Army

Single person, no body to accompany him and he'll be one person who will be there the next time when you go for the movie, still all alone. Prefers a seat in the middle to disturb others, if he is watching the same movie again else he'll prefer a corner seat..right next to the exit door at the back.

Small Family happy family? 

To all Unkeels and Aunties, a movie theatre is not a venue for picnic especially when the movie is being screened. This group prefers sitting together, occupying one complete row, screaming for food, passing on toddlers from one person to another as if he/she is a bucket of popcorn.

Mobilholics

Those good for nothing souls whose phone starts ringing with some latest bollywood tone and these shameless asses answer the call and start talking on top of their voices. Then a subset of these people use the theatre as a place to practice walk the talk. 

The Big mouth guy 

Somehow this person will always have something to blabber after almost each dialogue. He'll dissect the movie as if he is a surgeon performing some complex surgery. To cut it short, he's a live commentator.

The College Gang

They disturb so much that the holy Lord of disturbance ends up feeling shy for a lil. moment. They preferably occupy the center of the theatre or the low cost seats. They have all the money in the world and hence they watch the same movie time and again. They will be the first ones to disclose the climax, mimic the actors or even complete the dialogues even before the actor does!

Romeo-Juliet 

Corner seats! Yes, that what they ask for at the ticket counter. Sit besides them and you'd be cursed throughout the movie. All the time they just giggle, whisper, play with the arm-rest and do all sorts of mushy mushy things. Seriously, an empty house or college libraries or gardens etc are available instead of literally eating each other in the theatre. I have a simple rule, which I follow without fail and the rule is "Judge how good the movie is by counting the number of times I've looked off the screen"

Late Lateefs!

These are those good for nothing people who miss out on the start. As soon as they enter, the first question which they shoot is -"What did I miss", if that person is sophisticated else "o bhai kya and kitna miss hua be", if you happen to be in a B grade theatre! All this even before they find their seats. The reason which they give for coming in late will definitely leave you flummoxed as to how can anybody come up with such innovative excuses.

This isn't a comprehensive list of categories for the human being is still evolving ;)